being a parent
Wed, Jan 14, 2009i was wondering if any parent out there know how to be a ma or dad.? yes we all do. but how about when it seems like you are always the last to know anything about your kids.our are all grown. some with familys some without. we are not sure if we know how to be part time parents. we try and try. and it would be wrong of us not to say it is wearing us down. it is like hitting your head on the wall. when you think you got a foot ahead. there knock you back down. do not get us wrong to us there all are just kids. we love them with every oz we have. we would drop everything and anything if there needed us. and we have many times.. because that what parents do.i guess what we are trying to say is. we has a very important thing in the family.and we was not even ask to be part of it. and it truly hurts. we are
not mad just hurt.and we ask ourself why?? in no way would we take any thing away from them it was also there day. and we are very proud of them… we have been doing alot of talking and it just seems it has been a long road. and we are wearing down the older we get. the kids are our world all of them. yes we have friends we do alot of things we stay pretty busy. we always wanted our kids to be strong and stand on there own.BUT…so if there is any parent in this boat. please fill us in, i sure wish god would of haded out books. but the way kids change to day. who know how that would of went. it is like if we are there. than to them we are there to much if we are not of course we are not good parents.. we were told one day that we just are not needed the same anymore. well we do not see it that way. you are a parent for life no matter how long it is. or how hard it is. and oh boy we have been pushed to the edge many times…just like many many parents.. well i guess that is it. anyone fill us in… right now we could use it…i guess you could say we are pretty laid back people. we do not like to speak what is on own mind we keep alot of things to ourself. and alot of people know that and some knows it more than other. it is almost like well there are not going to say anything anyway.so who cares. well we do. we like to keep the peace you could say. so we take alot of stuff from everyone of our kids. keep the peace. a few of them just would talk to you for awhile and that just seems like it hurts more than just putting up with it. crazy yea…
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unknown says:
Jan. 15, 2009
Sounds like it could be a problem. Every kids acts like there have it all together but not so much. Maybe you just need to sat down and talk to them. Maybe there do not know that there is anything wrong.Kids now days keep there eyes, ears and close. Hope your important days was not that important to miss out on something because you can not get it back. Good luck.
Chad & Stacey says:
Jan. 20, 2009
I think that your kids have no idea that you feel hurt in this way. You need to talk to them about it. As some of us grow up we find ourselves consumed with our immediate everyday life and tend to lose the appreciation for our parents. That does not mean that we do not love them and want them involved in our lives, we just lose track of what is important especially if there is a lot of stress involved.
Maybe they did not mean to exclude you on the important family thing. Have you asked them? You may be surprised at their response.
A rule of thumb I live by is if you are the best parent possible, which I think you are, your kids will always love and respect you even if they don’t always express it.
Anonymous says:
Feb. 24, 2009
I had a hard time following what was being said here exactly, but I think it comes down to you feeling left out because your kids are not relying on you for everything. Your job as a parent should be done once the kids are grown and out the door. You’ll always be there, but they are now adults, and they may have their own families. You cannot possibly expect to have their worlds revolve around you after they’ve started their own lives.
My parents understood that once I moved out on my own and started my own family, they then became the “extended” family. My “immediate” family, meaning spouse and kids, are now my main concern. I would never expect, nor want, my parents to constantly be around when I’m trying to raise my family. I don’t need the unsolicited advice that some like to give. They are not the parents of my children. I am the parent of my kids, and I will decide what is best for my family. This does not mean I don’t include them, or talk to them about whatever may come up, but they need to hover about or be there for the decision making when it has nothing to do with them. I would never want to do this to my kids, and I hope that once they’re grown and on their own, I can say – look, I must have done a great job raising them since they’re able to stand on their own and take care of themselves.
This should be your time to do all of those things you couldn’t while raising children. Find some hobbies, travel, get together with friends, go have fun!
There are books out there for parents who have a difficult time in letting go. Do a search for books on “empty nest syndrome.” It could be helpful.
unknown says:
Feb. 24, 2009
seeing you do not have all the facts. you are so wrong. my kids are all grown and we love being left out of alot. but when your granddaughter is having a baby and you find out she had her little boy hour after being in the hosp. for 12 hr. it would have been nice to know a little early than oh she had her baby. yes you can keep parents out of alot. there are alot of things a really do not want to know about my kids. but do not leave us out of a new baby. and we have talked to our kids about thing and things are a little more clear. but still was not no excuse… and i really think i know who you are. and you do know what happen. so what ever….