I wanted to give people a sense of what we are all about so of course I went straight to the About Us page. That led me into the posts I wrote about clearing the sidewalks, which are my most passionate posts. As we were looking through a post I wrote in December of 2007 we clicked on a video link I had placed from the local news station. We were surprised that we could still watch it and it had been a while so we did.

The reporter was interviewing a Township board member about businesses not clearing the sidewalks and how it was a reoccurring problem then

 BAMMM…

“The Accident”

On the video were scenes from the morning our son was killed. There it was right in our face  

Footage of his bike under the SUV

We honestly don’t remember those scenes being in the video or we would prepared ourselves…but it reminds us that even as life moves on that horrific morning will never go away.

The video is a good one, it helped keep at least 50% of the sidewalks clear last year. The Township still doesn’t issue tickets nor do they issue the reminder Mr. Morrison speaks of. This video Bridgeport Businesses Asked to Clear Snow of Sidewalks gives parents like us some type of ammunition against government run institutions that can legally neglect their responsibilities of enforcing codes that can lead to killing kids.

We have many supporters that agree our son would have never been riding his bike in the road if he had a clear sidewalk to travel on…

The Township won’t admit their mistake and they won’t enforce the code. They have spit in our face and in the face of any parent that has lost a child due to the same circumstances. Just because they’re “the government” it doesn’t give them the right to neglect public safety due to the cost of issuing a ticket which actually brings in revenue.

It gets worse…The State Police Post on the side of the road where our son was hit by the car… Well lest just say that we had to call the Township Supervisor last year because they were not shoveling their sidewalks. Every year on the anniversary at the time of Dustin’s accident a group of us go to the cross on the side of the road and light a candle as a tribute to his memory. Last year there was 10 inches of snow across the sidewalk leading to his cross.

So even the State Government could give a shit about the safety of kids riding their bikes to school. That Really Makes Me Boil Over!

We now dedicate this day to Dustin’s memory. Through all the stress and the trials of life never lose touch with what is important, family. Your loved ones might not always be with you so take the time each and every day to tell them how much you love them.

We love and miss you Dustin. Be our gaurdian angel and skate that big half pipe in the sky….

The year has almost gone…Holidays are approaching fast and we won’t talk about that stress. Where did the time go, seems it was just spring a few months ago. Now, it’s plastic on the windows, weather stripping in the doors and pull out the heavy blankets. Word is our natural gas bill will rise about 20% this winter…sure we can afford that.

We found out that we are going to be grandparents, which should be good news since it is our first grandchild. Well, all I can say is I’m happy, but I wish the father was a responsible one. Our daughter is living at home with us and they have “broken” up and he is a piece of shit. As much as I was looking forward to having a life of my own, I now know we will be raising our grandbaby.

Things that are going on across our country, scare me. I read the news daily and it is all horrible…recession fears, killings and kidnappings.

My heart cries for the time when I was truly happy with life, with the world, just plain happy. It’s hard to put a smile on my face these days. I worry when my kids are two seconds late, I worry about the gas price because my husband commutes, I worry about going to the grocery store….It just keeps going.

I want my son back, I want my life back, I want…..

That beach in Australia …yeah the sunshine with no worries!

The ultimate goal of My Sister Dale’s Garden is to bring you joy and a sense of calmness if you are stressed dealing with an illness or life’s everyday challenges. In addition Miriam would like to find corporate sponsors to make donations to The Lung Cancer Alliance.

My Sister Dale’s Garden is close to our hearts. We love the beauty and life that flowers bring into this dreary world. We lost a loved one to lung cancer two months after we lost our son. From diagnosis to death was a mere 8 months.

Head over to this magnificent blog and show your support for a superb woman doing an amazing job of keeping her sister’s memory alive.

My Sister Dale’s Garden

Donate to The Lung Cancer Alliance

At this point in my life I should be happy. My career is finally starting to take off, we own our house in a small town, and we have even been able to take a few vacations. The problem is I feel so alone. When I look deep inside my soul I just see emptiness. My husband who I love deeply has changed, become bitter at life. He was so supportive at first, but now it’s like he can’t emotionally handle me being upset. My family and friends have their own problems and it seems they need answers or support from me more than ever.

My thought….When will someone be there for me? I believe in God and I know he is there for me, but he’s not much for conversation. I am a private person, so I do not want to talk to a stranger face to face about what I’m feeling. I blog part time also and that is why I am posting here. I need to express the way I feel, in hopes that something will change without the whole world knowing who I am.

It is hard to face reality that I will never truly be 100% happy again because there will always be a part of my life missing….our son.

That is why organizations like KIDS AND CARS are so important to get the word out about prevention. Founded by Janette E. Fennell the mission of KIDS AND CARS is to assure no child dies or is injured in a non-traffic, motor vehicle related event. At the KIDS AND CARS website you can find mass amounts of information about the prevention of losing a child to the many dangers of a non-traffic, motor vehicle accident. We believe that this information should be printed and given to every licensed driver every time they visit their local Motor Vehicle Office. People especially parents need to beware of the dangers your automobile can pose to your child that is why we must get the word out about KIDS AND CARS. We have raised four children and ourselves never realized that power window strangulation and vehicles put in motion causes the death of many children every year.

The fast growing trend of SUVs and larger vehicles with larger blind spots is contributing to the amount of children being hurt or killed by a motor vehicle. As some of you may know our son was killed by an SUV as are so many other children. People must realize these vehicles are deadly weapons, the SUV that ran over our son was large enough to drag him and his bike underneath it and he was 15 years old. A child that is less than 3 feet tall has no chance at even being seen if they are close enough to an SUV making them most dangerous in your own driveway. KIDS AND CARS has a very informative section on different technology aftermarket options to address the blind zone behind a motor vehicle. They have also teamed up with Advocates for Highway and Auto Safety, and The Consumer’s Union to work with members of Congress to pass bi-partisan legislation that will establish basic safety regulations. KIDS AND CARS provide links to different ways you can help participate in this effort. It is absolutely ridiculous that automakers have not volunteered to make vehicles safer around children, they should visit the KIDS AND CARS website and read the heartbreaking stories of parents that have lost children due to their poorly made cars, that would make them think twice!

The greatest impact KIDS AND CARS had on us were the 45 individual stories that parents have written as a tribute to their child, telling each of their experiences. We have yet to read through all of them as it brings so many painful memories and so much anger that these senseless accidents can be avoided. If you are a parent you must read about these families that have endured so much, and we ask you to support KIDS AND CARS in helping get this important legislation passed. Write your local Congress , donate a little something to KIDS AND CARS, and most important pass the word of their website to anyone who will listen. If just one death of a child is avoided by doing this it makes it all worth it.

You read about tragic car accidents in the news daily, this can be prevented! Drivers must take responsibility behind the wheel. People must realize the consequences of being a careless driver, you always think it won’t happen to you, well it might. Tougher car accident laws are needed, when a person dies in an automobile accident unless there is undoubted proof it was a “freak” accident or both drivers were responsible then there should no questions about charges being filed. These drivers are responsible for hurting or causing the death of other people. They end up hurting not only the family involved, but also their own family, not to mention the many other people that care about both families.

Many of you may know the driver that was responsible for the death of our son was never charged. She was driving an SUV going 45 MPH, never hit the brakes and he was riding his bike, where is the responsibility here? She gets to continue to drive with no consequence for her actions.

Early last week a careless driver claimed the lives of a father and his 5 year old daughter, two local area residents. They were on their way to school for a day of coloring eggs when their van was hit head on by a U.S. Marshal van. The woman that was driving the U.S. Marshal van was going 55 MPH and ran a stop sign, never hitting the brakes. The van that the father and daughter were in rolled several times and they were ejected, both killed. A witness that was behind this woman says

I was behind the white van when this happened and I’m still in shock over what I saw. the black van never stopped. She was doing at the least 55 or faster when she hit them and never even try to stop there is not even any break marks on the pavement where she even tried to hit her breaks & as you can see in the video there is no sun shining if so I would have had my sunglasses on & I didn’t. I’m still trying too figure out in my mind what she was doing to not see this white van coming ….

The driver of the U.S. Marshal van says that the sun blinded her and that is why she hit the van carrying the father and daughter. This happen about 15 miles from our house and I agree with the witness that the sun was not shining and in the video from the news of the accident scene the sun was not shining. THINK about what she said I didn’t see them because the sun was in my eyes, then why the hell did she not slow down! Why would you continue to drive at 55 MPH when you are “blinded”? At this time the police are saying it is unlikely the driver of the Marshal van will be charged.

It is just not right how careless drivers can get away with murder. The next time you are behind the wheel of your car think about what could happen in a split second and what repercussions it could bring. We can all saves lives by slowing down, paying attention and do not multitask while you are driving, you have a deadly weapon in your hands.

This trend of young children being depressed must be stopped. The pharmaceutical companies have issued warnings that these medications can cause suicidal thoughts. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ON THE MARKET?!

WebMD.com

FDA Advisories. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued:

An advisory on Strattera. It suggests parents and other caregivers closely watch for warning signs of suicide in children and teens taking this medicine.

An advisory on antidepressants to closely monitor adults, teens, and children taking this medicine for warning signs of suicide.

The FDA does not recommend that people stop using these medicines, but to watch for warning signs of suicide in those using them.

The number of children that are taking ADHD medications have increased dramatically in the past 15 years. In a previous post I wrote about the possible link to these medications and Adolescent Violence.

“The number of adolescents on mood altering medications is also at a staggering level, maybe the two are linked. Four years ago the doctors were prescribing anti depressant medications to children as young as 7 years old, now they say it should be used with caution in younger people. Why? Because one of the side effects is suicidal thoughts and another is violent mood swings! It gets even worse when the doctors are prescribing all these wonderful new drugs for ADHD and come to find out they also can cause depression and suicidal thoughts.”

Reading this story about Anthony Cole breaks our heart and fills us with anger. We know what it is like to lose a child. Our bad experiences with ADHD medications make that anger boil. Our son just turned 16, he has ADHD. He was on medication from age 7 until he was about 12 years old. We were concerned that he was always zombie like, he never ate, he never slept, and he was not growing at a normal rate. He was very depressed, cried a lot and he was a loner. We worked with the doctors in changing the brand and dosages to try and help this behavior. Nothing worked. The final straw came when the doctor promised us this “new” type of medication Strattera was not a stimulant and would eliminate all the side effects. Our son just got worse he was so skinny and was not sleeping at all, he started being sneaky and not taking his medication. After sitting him down and talking with him we decided to take him off the medication, although the doctor did not agree he said it was ultimately our decision. It took a lot of patience and still does, we try different things, lots of hands on work. He is very bright, but it is hard to get him to do the homework. We were willing to trade the good grades and calm behavior for an energetic young man that has grown to 6’0 tall and 215 lbs. He now eats, sleeps, enjoys any project and is obviously growing at an enormous rate.

These medications may help some children without the deadly side effects, but it is really worth the risk of your child’s life?

In the news story after story of children being neglected or abused. The mother in Ocala that is so popular today, yeah her kids are brats, but their still YOUR kids! You don’t just walk away from them you must cherish every single moment you have with them. Guidance, Morals, and Discipline is a much better solution than abandonment. The article that really ticked me off was about a five month old baby that was left strapped in a car seat for 8 DAYS! The baby died of starvation weighing only 10 pounds. In both these cases the parents were arrested for neglect.

Why does life work like this? I know it is a question that will never be answered, but it just seems so wrong that parents like that even have kids. If there is some “higher” power up there in the big blue sky, why would he allow bad parents to have kids while taking away from the good parents?

Why do we have to spend another year celebrating a birthday at the cemetery instead of in our loving home?

Part I – Video 

Part II – Video 

Part III – Video