Darkness, Emptiness, Loneliness

Posted by: a girl from Cali Tue, Aug 19, 2008

I have been a reader of this site for a few months now because it hits close to home in my heart. My husband and I lost a teenage son to a traffic accident a couple years ago. It has been the so hard to move past it and get on with life. My daily thoughts are still consumed with everything relating to him, the precious memories, the accident and the days following. Every where I turn something reminds of everything like a flood of emotions.

At this point in my life I should be happy. My career is finally starting to take off, we own our house in a small town, and we have even been able to take a few vacations. The problem is I feel so alone. When I look deep inside my soul I just see emptiness. My husband who I love deeply has changed, become bitter at life. He was so supportive at first, but now it’s like he can’t emotionally handle me being upset. My family and friends have their own problems and it seems they need answers or support from me more than ever.

My thought….When will someone be there for me? I believe in God and I know he is there for me, but he’s not much for conversation. I am a private person, so I do not want to talk to a stranger face to face about what I’m feeling. I blog part time also and that is why I am posting here. I need to express the way I feel, in hopes that something will change without the whole world knowing who I am.

It is hard to face reality that I will never truly be 100% happy again because there will always be a part of my life missing….our son.

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One Response to “Darkness, Emptiness, Loneliness”

  1. Chad & Stacey says:

    Aug. 19, 2008

    A Girl from Cali,

    All I can say is I know how you feel and I know there are many other people that do too. I can’t say that you will ever get over the death of your son because truly I know we never will get over ours. Email me and we’ll talk.

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