Dead Beat Parents
Thu, Dec 20, 2007
I am a parent of a child that’s father is non existent in her life. It infuriates me more that I can say about the amount children that are growing up in a household without a mother or a father. All I can say is that why would people continue to have children that they are not going to take care of? Who do you think that you are hurting? The fact that my daughters father is in another country is no excuse for her to not receive a letter or a card on her birthday. Just something saying that she is in their thoughts and she is not forgotten about. What is even worse is that her grandparents live in the states and she has her grandmother’s namesake and she still does not hear from any of them on that side of the family. It is terrible that my child has to feel like her dad does not care about her because he can’t take a few minutes to send her a card. I just found out that her grandparents had a house built for her father and his new wife and yet they can’t even send her a birthday card? How does that work in her favor? There are so many children that do not have their parents in their lives. No wonder we have angry children in society. I also want to point out that it is not about the parents, it’s about the kids. I don’t care how much you don’t like the person you had these kids with, they need their parents. You should have thought about that before you decided to have children. Birth control is free at the health department if you need it that bad. Come on people, take the time to spend with your kids, they need it. Another issue for the women is why would you think for one minute that if you got pregnant you could keep a man? Who s really suffering when he leaves you anyway? That would be your child. Men, you need to step up to the plate and take care of your responsibilities. Don’t brag about how many kids you have when you are not really being a father to them. Taking care of your kids is worth bragging about, not making them. Also don’t use excuses. If you wanted to have sex, take precautions and don’t make babies if you aren’t going to take care of them. To any absent parent, how could you make a baby and not do what is right and take care of them, it isn’t about you or your pride, it’s about the child that is part of you and you made. Do the right thing for them. Children are the most precious gift, how could you walk away from them and never look back, or walk out of their lives and not think about the positive impact you could have enjoyed in raising them? Again, it isn’t about you.
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momofjhrazk says:
Dec. 21, 2007
I understand completely!
Victoria says:
Dec. 28, 2007
Another loser for your reading pleasure. Happy Holidays
http://www.freewebs.com/wantedcriminals
Jodi says:
Dec. 30, 2007
I completely understand where you are coming from. My ex-husband, (Frank Worthey in NE if anybody happens to know him), to this date owes me over $25,000 in child support. He payed a few times, but then started working under the table to get out of it. The state took away his license, so he used that as an excuse not to work, although I understand he could get a work permit license. He and his new wife make money doing child care at their homes and make pretty good money. He has decided to start over with new kids with his new wife, and just seems to have forgotten his other children. The worst is how he brags to the children we have together about the things he has bought or has gotten his new children, while he manages occasionally to send $20 or $25 to them for Christmas (if the kids are lucky). Child support doesn’t seem to be doing anything, and those online collection agencies want so much from you if you do collect (yeah, it’s better than nothing). I just hate how he is allowed to get away with it. My kids are teens now and have begun to see what kind of parent he is on their own now, and I hate to see them hurt like that. What options are there for us?
Jodi says:
Dec. 30, 2007
Very cool Victoria. I like that. Hope it works for you. Goodluck.
Anonymous says:
Jan. 2, 2008
Hi Jodi I am in a very similar situation. My dead beat ex owes the kids way over $50,000 in back child support. I tried everything, but nothing seems to help. He has changed his last name, and when I hired a child support agency from Texas to find him, they finally did. The problem was I had to pay them $350 to take the case and find him, then when they did they got like 35% of the support. My thought was at least it was something, well that lasted about 6 months and he called the agency crying he was terminal with cancer and could not pay. That was well over 7 years ago and I have not seen a dime since. In my situation he never wanted anything to do with the kids, so that has made it a little easier on my part. I know where he lives and that he is also remarried with another family. The advice I have received throughout the years is, keep track of everything, every bit of contact, lies, and non payment. When the kids are legal adults they can go after him in small claims court for the money. It may not help them if he still can’t pay, but that judgment will always hang over his head. I am assuming that if you know where he is that you could also file a suit now while the kids are younger. At least that way he will never be able to get credit without people seeing he owes a lot of money in back support. Good Luck I hope it works out for you. Make sure you remind the kids that it is you that takes care of them and always puts them first.
Scott says:
Jan. 12, 2008
Very upsetting to hear all your sad stories. I could never think about having a child and not being there for it, strange how were all unlike from one another.
Jodi says:
Jan. 19, 2008
Thanks for your suggestions “anonymous”
Edith says:
Feb. 2, 2008
I agree on every issue that was stated in raising a child. I’m also a single parent, who is raising twin sons. The last time they saw their dad, Charles E. Jackson was in 2001 and at that time he owed $60,000.00 in back child support. He moved away and left no forwarding address/number or even a third party contact. His family has never call them and they live in the same state with us. My sons will be graduating from High School this year. I asked them, if their father was to come back here to live would they want to contact him. The reply was obviously a NO| They no longer refer to him as dad, but by his first name. I instill in my sons, to forgive those who mistreats you. I hope and pray that they will forgive him and he will amend the relationship. If not, it is he who has lost those formidable years from two young boys, who have become two promising young men.
Chad & Stacey says:
Feb. 5, 2008
Yes Edith, it is his loss. It sounds like you have two very nice young men, cherish that. There are so many similar stories out there, don’t forget that your not alone.
IDBD says:
Feb. 22, 2008
Report dead beat parents free! New support forum allows users and visitors to report non-paying parent information in child support cases. This resource will assist users to circulate and collect information about a dead beat parent’s location and financial information which will be used to aid in the collection of past due child support.
VISIT http://www.idbd.info IDBD- Internation Dead Beat Database for more information!
Chad & Stacey says:
Feb. 22, 2008
That is a great idea. We are glad you stopped by to let our readers know about IDBD it is a major issue in our country.
ShareKhoo says:
Mar. 7, 2008
It may be a good idea to have a place (like this one for instance) to rant. But you must keep it all in perspective; that this is meant for you to safely rant (you are only releasing the negativity without harming anyone), and when you are done, that’s it.
It is an even better idea not to dwell on it(anger/rant, etc.). Then you can turn your attention onto something good in your life. You can’t when you are feeling bad.
You can make a difference and you can make it all different for your kids regardless of what happened in the past.
Pretty sure you have heard that the power is in the NOW. This is how you can undo the past. And so, obviously, what you do now affects the future.
So what is your choice? What’s the use of putting the blame on phantoms in your life? What’s the use of holding onto things/people? Do you still want to attract the same type of circumstances/people into your life? (There’s no end to people like that, you now. They may have parents like that themselves.)
Do YOU truly want to let your kids and yourself have it better in life? You are all who matters in their life (and your own life now since of course you are in your own life) NOW so are you going to take charge, or the phantoms?
idbd says:
Oct. 31, 2008
Report deadbeat parents who do not provide child support at IDBD International Dead Beat Database.
http://www.IDBD.org