Comments on: Family, or enemy? http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132 Are You Ready To Boil Over..So Are We! Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:56:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Theresa http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-200 Theresa Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:52:07 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-200 Some of what you said I can relate to 100%. Especially the part about moving back and wondering if you made the biggest mistake of your life. Where the hell is all the help that they said I could rely on if I moved back? I moved away from my home state for 20 years, and raised my kids alone. 7 years ago I moved back and NOW I remember why I moved down south in the first place! Gave up a house and independance to put up with BS!! And I am 52 years old...but still a kid in their eyes! Oy vey! Hang in there...it's the only thing we can do if we don't want a nervous breakdown. And keep one thing in mind (like I do)-if we didn't love them so much, it wouldn't hurt so much or matter to us. We have nothing invested in strangers so of course we could care less. But bottom line...love is worth it once we are taking our last breath, no? Some of what you said I can relate to 100%. Especially the part about moving back and wondering if you made the biggest mistake of your life. Where the hell is all the help that they said I could rely on if I moved back? I moved away from my home state for 20 years, and raised my kids alone. 7 years ago I moved back and NOW I remember why I moved down south in the first place!
Gave up a house and independance to put up with BS!! And I am 52 years old…but still a kid in their eyes! Oy vey!
Hang in there…it’s the only thing we can do if we don’t want a nervous breakdown. And keep one thing in mind (like I do)-if we didn’t love them so much, it wouldn’t hurt so much or matter to us. We have nothing invested in strangers so of course we could care less. But bottom line…love is worth it once we are taking our last breath, no?

]]> By: anonymous http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-199 anonymous Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:32:11 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-199 I to have alot of expeience with mixed family. i marred a guy with two kids and than we have some together. I have been marred to him for sometime long enough that all kids are grown. I would hope that I have loved them all. Yes when you have your own you as a mother I think have a different bond with them but love is always there. yes there was hard time. that is with any family mixed or not. when kids are younger thing are just so hard coming on weekend diff. rules diff. lifes. i love all my kids even if i did not give birth. now that everyone is older I think things have come a long ways. and if I did anything wrong I am sorry. and I hope and pray everyday thats things stay on track. with all the kids. it is never easy. but i knew what i was getting into when I got marryed. were there problem yes of course. if we had no problems in life than hell what would have to worry about and get all them gray hair from i hope that my kids all know how much I care for them and love them now that there are all older it really seem to me anyway to be alot easyer than when there were younger. just hang in there kids all come around sooner or later and you to will come to understand that the bond with mother are like no other bond ask any mother it is alot diff. than that of a father. anyway that is what I feel. I to have alot of expeience with mixed family. i marred a guy with two kids and than we have some together. I have been marred to him for sometime long enough that all kids are grown. I would hope that I have loved them all. Yes when you have your own you as a mother I think have a different bond with them but love is always there. yes there was hard time. that is with any family mixed or not. when kids are younger thing are just so hard coming on weekend diff. rules diff. lifes. i love all my kids even if i did not give birth. now that everyone is older I think things have come a long ways. and if I did anything wrong I am sorry. and I hope and pray everyday thats things stay on track. with all the kids. it is never easy. but i knew what i was getting into when I got marryed. were there problem yes of course. if we had no problems in life than hell what would have to worry about and get all them gray hair from i hope that my kids all know how much I care for them and love them now that there are all older it really seem to me anyway to be alot easyer than when there were younger. just hang in there kids all come around sooner or later and you to will come to understand that the bond with mother are like no other bond ask any mother it is alot diff. than that of a father. anyway that is what I feel.

]]> By: Amanda http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-198 Amanda Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:11:16 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-198 To all that have commented, thank you. It did help to leave my post and read the comments. One thing that I have to say is that my brother and I have always been the closest, that's why it hurts me so bad. I hope that it all works out in the end, I am still mad and say enough is enough, but I love him, he is my family. To the gentelmen that has children that he would like to be more active with, I have some expierience. If you love your kids, keep trying to talk to them, it will make all the difference in the world to them. Unfortunately I have found that not all women call love any child that is not thier own. I don't know how this could be hard, kids are kids and they produce only love when their young. Your kids probably have a good reason to feel like they do. Don't let it ruin your relationship with your wife, but concentrate on your kids even more. They need thier dad and even if you have to do things with them on occation without your wife chances are, they still want you around. I am sure that they feel alienated from you because of the "vibe" they get from your wife. I am sure that she cares about them but maybe she is incapable of loving them becasue they are not her own. I hope that you continue to work on your relationship with your kids, it is important. To all that have commented, thank you. It did help to leave my post and read the comments. One thing that I have to say is that my brother and I have always been the closest, that’s why it hurts me so bad. I hope that it all works out in the end, I am still mad and say enough is enough, but I love him, he is my family. To the gentelmen that has children that he would like to be more active with, I have some expierience. If you love your kids, keep trying to talk to them, it will make all the difference in the world to them. Unfortunately I have found that not all women call love any child that is not thier own. I don’t know how this could be hard, kids are kids and they produce only love when their young. Your kids probably have a good reason to feel like they do. Don’t let it ruin your relationship with your wife, but concentrate on your kids even more. They need thier dad and even if you have to do things with them on occation without your wife chances are, they still want you around. I am sure that they feel alienated from you because of the “vibe” they get from your wife. I am sure that she cares about them but maybe she is incapable of loving them becasue they are not her own. I hope that you continue to work on your relationship with your kids, it is important.

]]> By: Chad & Stacey http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-197 Chad & Stacey Thu, 28 Feb 2008 11:28:43 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-197 Thank you for the post apaquette, looks like you had a lot to vent about we hope you are feeling a little better after getting all of that off your chest. Anger is a strong emotion not a wrong emotion. People get very upset when other people are angry at them which just seems to fuel the fire for most. We all have faults and when we are angry people tend to find all the faults in that person and expel them. Nothing is wrong with that, it is the way that you feel. When you love a person (family, spouse, friend) you must look past their faults and weakness and accept them for who they are. That is sometimes very difficult especially with family. People need to realize that other people need to voice their opinion even if it hurts, and they still need to be able to love them for who they are. Every person is different, and we will always have our own opinions. Life is full of difficult twists and turns, ups and downs, remember in those times that when it comes down to it we are sure that you and your family will always be there for each other. We wish you luck with sorting things out and look forward to seeing you here again. Thank you also anonymous for venting here, we also hope it made you feel better. It is always a difficult situation when you join two families, it sounds like deep down you have really done a good job with making the situation work the best you can. When some kids grow up they tend to go there own way, maybe their intentions are not to avoid you, but simply busy with their own lives. I (Stacey) say this because, when I moved out I did not speak to my parents a lot, not that I didn’t want to, I just would get busy. I moved out of state away from them about 11 years ago. I am not that great about keeping in touch, but I love my mother with all my heart and have great respect for her. (my father has since passed away). Communication is very important, even if your kids are “hard” to talk to keep trying and let them know how you feel, both of you. Best of Luck to you and we also look forward to seeing more of you. Thank you for the post apaquette, looks like you had a lot to vent about we hope you are feeling a little better after getting all of that off your chest.

Anger is a strong emotion not a wrong emotion. People get very upset when other people are angry at them which just seems to fuel the fire for most. We all have faults and when we are angry people tend to find all the faults in that person and expel them. Nothing is wrong with that, it is the way that you feel. When you love a person (family, spouse, friend) you must look past their faults and weakness and accept them for who they are. That is sometimes very difficult especially with family. People need to realize that other people need to voice their opinion even if it hurts, and they still need to be able to love them for who they are. Every person is different, and we will always have our own opinions. Life is full of difficult twists and turns, ups and downs, remember in those times that when it comes down to it we are sure that you and your family will always be there for each other. We wish you luck with sorting things out and look forward to seeing you here again.

Thank you also anonymous for venting here, we also hope it made you feel better. It is always a difficult situation when you join two families, it sounds like deep down you have really done a good job with making the situation work the best you can. When some kids grow up they tend to go there own way, maybe their intentions are not to avoid you, but simply busy with their own lives. I (Stacey) say this because, when I moved out I did not speak to my parents a lot, not that I didn’t want to, I just would get busy. I moved out of state away from them about 11 years ago. I am not that great about keeping in touch, but I love my mother with all my heart and have great respect for her. (my father has since passed away). Communication is very important, even if your kids are “hard” to talk to keep trying and let them know how you feel, both of you. Best of Luck to you and we also look forward to seeing more of you.

]]> By: anonymous http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-196 anonymous Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:50:20 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-196 i just was reading your letter a paquete.i t got me thinking as alot of these statement does. so i though well hell why not write what pisses me off ...i live in a very small town.i mmarred a women with kids, i also have 3 of my own. so we have a mixed family. we have none toghter. ages from 13 to 29...i just feel she loves her far more than mind. we have been marry for 22yrs. all the kids were very young. as you could of guess i only get mind on weekend will the 13. the others are on there own. but i really do not see my kids because of the feeling that my kids have. lack of love as there say. we have done many thing with all the kids as a family. trips.moving into one of there new home. babys. on and on. my wife said my kids are just her own. but can that really be. sometime i see it more than not. so what is the problem of my children. we have gave them everything we could the love happy. everything. i love all my kids. i mean ALL. so what went wrong. yes i talk to my kids my wife calls them and talks. but now that my kids are on there own. there just acted as if i am not around. there do not call me or visit me. it is always me going to them not that i mind. my one son (29( wants to move to a diffenert state to be closer to his real mother that just moved about a year ago. and i think well what the hell about me. does the father just not matter. we have feeling to. just becasue things never worked in own married does not mean that the love is not there for the kids.no his mother and i never got along. but when you divcord who does, we can have a talk about the kids but that is about it. we both try and have done a pretty good job with that could of been better but we did the best. it seens to me that the father gets all the shit. and gets let out of alot.so i say what about me.what do i do. i know i am not the only father that is going through this.is there any one out there that has actully maded this work. the older there get the worse it seems to be.thanks i really needed to bog over. i am new to your site. really nice be be back again. thanks again i just was reading your letter a paquete.i t got me thinking as alot of these statement does. so i though well hell why not write what pisses me off …i live in a very small town.i mmarred a women with kids, i also have 3 of my own. so we have a mixed family. we have none toghter. ages from 13 to 29…i just feel she loves her far more than mind. we have been marry for 22yrs. all the kids were very young. as you could of guess i only get mind on weekend will the 13. the others are on there own. but i really do not see my kids because of the feeling that my kids have. lack of love as there say. we have done many thing with all the kids as a family. trips.moving into one of there new home. babys. on and on. my wife said my kids are just her own. but can that really be. sometime i see it more than not. so what is the problem of my children. we have gave them everything we could the love happy. everything. i love all my kids. i mean ALL. so what went wrong. yes i talk to my kids my wife calls them and talks. but now that my kids are on there own. there just acted as if i am not around. there do not call me or visit me. it is always me going to them not that i mind. my one son (29( wants to move to a diffenert state to be closer to his real mother that just moved about a year ago. and i think well what the hell about me. does the father just not matter. we have feeling to. just becasue things never worked in own married does not mean that the love is not there for the kids.no his mother and i never got along. but when you divcord who does, we can have a talk about the kids but that is about it. we both try and have done a pretty good job with that could of been better but we did the best. it seens to me that the father gets all the shit. and gets let out of alot.so i say what about me.what do i do. i know i am not the only father that is going through this.is there any one out there that has actully maded this work. the older there get the worse it seems to be.thanks i really needed to bog over. i am new to your site. really nice be be back again. thanks again

]]> By: anonymous http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-195 anonymous Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:31:40 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-195 i have family that i would not tell shit to because it would be all over the town.i am a older person i should have learn thing by now. but i have some family member i wish i could be closer to but there do not give me a change. and i have others that gave me a change but now just act as if i am not around only when there need something, i have been there for them always but hey there family. no matter what some are just real asshole.sounds like your brother is in my family.maybe we are sister with different mothers haha.. i have family that i would not tell shit to because it would be all over the town.i am a older person i should have learn thing by now. but i have some family member i wish i could be closer to but there do not give me a change. and i have others that gave me a change but now just act as if i am not around only when there need something, i have been there for them always but hey there family. no matter what some are just real asshole.sounds like your brother is in my family.maybe we are sister with different mothers haha..

]]> By: anonymous http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-194 anonymous Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:26:12 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-194 hey sat back and rethink thing.you have alot of people in your life. you can not only have one person in your life. you have parents aunt uncle sister brother. granparents. maybe you are talking to the wrong person... he sounds like it is all about him....so turn to others.. hey sat back and rethink thing.you have alot of people in your life. you can not only have one person in your life. you have parents aunt uncle sister brother. granparents. maybe you are talking to the wrong person… he sounds like it is all about him….so turn to others..

]]> By: anon123 http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-193 anon123 Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:28:18 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-193 Wow, that's pretty strong, but it's how you feel. I hope you reconcile w/your family. Wow, that’s pretty strong, but it’s how you feel. I hope you reconcile w/your family.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boiledover.com/family-or-enemy/132#comment-192 Anonymous Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:27:55 +0000 http://boiledover.com/?p=132#comment-192 Wow, that's pretty strong, but it's how you feel. I hope you reconcile w/your family. Wow, that’s pretty strong, but it’s how you feel. I hope you reconcile w/your family.

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