I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He’s younger than me but in a lot of ways I found him to be much more mature than guys my age or older. He had a full-time job, had just bought a newer car, and was taking flight lessons to become a pilot. He was broke most of the time, but so was I because of my medical bills, so it worked out perfect. We enjoyed each other’s company and, when we could afford it, we would split the bill when we went out to the movies, dinner, etc. About 6 months later, we both got laid off from our jobs. We both went back to college full-time and were (barely) living off of student loans and unemployment compensation. At the time, I was renting a room at my aunt’s house, and he pretty much lived with me in my room also. My aunt thought it would be best to make him pay half the rent, which wasn’t much to begin with, and I agreed with her. But, because of his debt (car payments, insurance, pre-relationship DUI, flight lessons, etc.) his financial situation got worse and worse. He was not only unable to contribute to paying rent, but I ended up helping him pay his bills once in a while, paying his half of the rent because I didn’t want my aunt to suffer financially too, and started putting off my medical necessities. A couple of months ago, I had to move out of my aunt’s (and my boyfriend with me) because her daughter needed a place to live. My apartment’s rent is more than twice what I was paying for the room I had, and of course I have to pay for utilities, Internet, food, etc. What pisses me off to no end is that I have been taking care of him and backing him up when he needed the financial help this whole time, and I am barely able to make ends meet because not only am I taking care of myself, a cat, and an apartment, but an extra person who adds to the expenses… yet he still sees no reason to get a job and at the very least take care of his end of the bargain. I have been wearing my monthly pair of contacts for about 6 months, I have about 5 cavities that are getting more and more painful, I have medications that allow me to function that I haven’t been able to afford, I have a cancer that I am supposed to be getting check-ups on but can’t afford to, and I have major back pains that flare up to intolerable levels the more I am stressed. I am constantly on edge, trying to figure out how in the world am I going to take care of my health with my boyfriend’s burdens on my shoulder. It’s getting exhausting… He eats a lot, he smokes like a chimney and gets offended when I ask him to please cut down on the cigarettes because they are expensive! Whenever he throws a fit, I tell him to get a job so that he can smoke 2 packs a day for all I care, leave lights on and max out the AC in the apartment, and do whatever else he wants that is now costing me more than I can handle, but he still doesn’t get it! He makes a mess whenever he’s in the kitchen, throws clothes around and uses up towels like I have an infinite supply somewhere and causing me to do way more laundry than we really need to, I cook and the food disappears way too quickly because “he can’t help it,” he doesn’t even care to put his shoes away when he walks in, he just tosses everything around so I’m constantly picking up after him! I give him advice and try to steer him in the right direction but he just gets offended, or pretends to understand then completely negate what I say later, or whatever excuse he has. I don’t know about the majority of people out there, but if I had someone covering my behind, keeping me clothed and fed and sheltered and loved (and even entertained for crying out loud!), I would do everything in my power to contribute in whatever ways I could!! I am stressed out beyond what I can physically handle; I have maybe 2 muscle relaxants left that I have been saving for months now just in case I fall apart, and the only thing that helps… the only thing that literally makes my back relax and takes way from the pain in the herniated disks and even helps me sleep, is for my boyfriend to gently scratch my back, or arm, or just stroke my hair… it’s that simple. Financial and emotional pains aside, at least some of the physical pain could be remedied. But, I am lucky if he strokes my back at night for one minute once every other week… Even then, he grunts about it because it is such a “tedious” chore. So here I am battling yet another excruciatingly painful, sleepless night while he is comfortable in bed, after smoking his last cigarette for the night. Is it just me, or is something wrong with this picture…? Is it really that much to ask? I take care of him in every way, and ask (but end up just hoping) that he alleviates some of that load that literally hurts my back by taking 5-10 minutes out of his time a week, all it takes is some gentle physical contact… I guess it turns out I can’t afford that either.

Just wanted to give a shout out to all Lions Fans! We finally won! For those of you who don’t know I’m a HUGE football fan! I love the NFL and I’m an avid watcher every Sunday afternoon. Ask my kids about Sunday football and nachos in our house…BIG tradition! Well even though we had to listen to the radio for our Lions game this week, due to the fact that the Lions game did not sell out which I think is Bullshit! WE WON! The Lions finally pulled it off after 20 games! Yes, we went the entire NFL professional season last year without a win…WE DID IT! Let’s hope this is the start to an awesome season for the Detroit Lions and the fans that have been extremely dedicated to a team that really hasn’t deserved it.  To all the Lions Fans…we WILL DO IT! Yeah! GO Lions…Stafford keep it up and Hanson we love you…our Lonesome kicker that always pulls it off! It’s finally a good day in Michigan!

Chad has started to tweet Boiled Over so he has been going through random posts, tweeting them and making new friends. Well this morning it was my turn to give Twitter a try…

I wanted to give people a sense of what we are all about so of course I went straight to the About Us page. That led me into the posts I wrote about clearing the sidewalks, which are my most passionate posts. As we were looking through a post I wrote in December of 2007 we clicked on a video link I had placed from the local news station. We were surprised that we could still watch it and it had been a while so we did.

The reporter was interviewing a Township board member about businesses not clearing the sidewalks and how it was a reoccurring problem then

 BAMMM…

“The Accident”

On the video were scenes from the morning our son was killed. There it was right in our face  

Footage of his bike under the SUV

We honestly don’t remember those scenes being in the video or we would prepared ourselves…but it reminds us that even as life moves on that horrific morning will never go away.

The video is a good one, it helped keep at least 50% of the sidewalks clear last year. The Township still doesn’t issue tickets nor do they issue the reminder Mr. Morrison speaks of. This video Bridgeport Businesses Asked to Clear Snow of Sidewalks gives parents like us some type of ammunition against government run institutions that can legally neglect their responsibilities of enforcing codes that can lead to killing kids.

We have many supporters that agree our son would have never been riding his bike in the road if he had a clear sidewalk to travel on…

The Township won’t admit their mistake and they won’t enforce the code. They have spit in our face and in the face of any parent that has lost a child due to the same circumstances. Just because they’re “the government” it doesn’t give them the right to neglect public safety due to the cost of issuing a ticket which actually brings in revenue.

It gets worse…The State Police Post on the side of the road where our son was hit by the car… Well lest just say that we had to call the Township Supervisor last year because they were not shoveling their sidewalks. Every year on the anniversary at the time of Dustin’s accident a group of us go to the cross on the side of the road and light a candle as a tribute to his memory. Last year there was 10 inches of snow across the sidewalk leading to his cross.

So even the State Government could give a shit about the safety of kids riding their bikes to school. That Really Makes Me Boil Over!

I seen an article this morning while drinking my coffee I don’t know if I was pissed off or what. The article read Craiglist Hooker Sweep Nets 28 Women .Now I have a bit of a different opinion. It was some internet under cover sting. Okay fir I feel if a woman decides to be a professional escort that’s her business and not for any body to put their nose in.

Has anybody seen what the hell is going on out the in the real world. People are starving because there is no work. The unemployment is outrageous. The poor are getting poorer and the rich stay rich. What if these women had no choice in there life at this point in time? What if that’s the only way they can feed there family or keep the heat on through the winter.

I myself am not saying that it’s right to be in The Oldest Profession”. I am however saying who, are we to judge the way someone has to pay the bills. I’m lucky enough when I lost my job in construction” I’ve been doing for 13 years” I could work at home making a paycheck every week.

Even if someone has to take things to that extreme they should have the right to make that decision. I say let them take back the money the rich have been sucking this society dry of for so many decades. Lets just face the fact that sex sells.