Don’t Preach to Me
Tue, Feb 26, 2008Nothing Boils me Over more than one grown adult preaching, and pushing their religious beliefs on another grown adult. Let’s look at reality here most people by the time they reach adulthood have a “certain” belief as to a “God” or “Higher” power. It may not conform to what other people believe, but that is what makes us individuals. Most adults change their beliefs only if THEY choose to not because someone has told them they are going to hell if they don’t.
I consider myself to be an intelligent person with good morals. There is a vast universe of power out there and with the human brain being capable of powering only a 25 watt light bulb, I do believe there may be “something” more powerful. Don’t get me wrong faith is a wonderful thing and has a great power itself. My faith is a strong part of my life even if it does not conform to the conventional church teachings. Again it has to do with being an individual, thinking with a “free” mind.
I wrote a spur of the moment post on Friday called Why. In that post I mentioned “IF there is some higher power….” I was venting, angry and not seeing a bit of sense in this thing we call life. That is why we created this site, for that purpose. A short time later I received an email from an out of state, long time friend stating her concern. The problem is she was not stating her concern about why I was feeling that way, it was about WHY I questioned God!
Although I know she will read this post too I am going to quote what she said to me in the email because I was so angry I thought I was going to explode!
There is a God. There is a Jesus. We may not always understand His reasons for what he does, we have to trust him. Death is not permanent. We make a decision to trust Him or not. It’s Heaven or it is hell. It’s that simple. Being angry w/God is okay. He gave you that emotion, but questioning His existence is another. Yes, you are right when you say that it doesn’t seem fair that some people that have kids, abuse them, those that want them don’t have them or worse, have them then lose them. I couldn’t agree more. While I do not know your pain & pray that I never will, I do know that God loves you & He is in charge & has a purpose for everything.
Take care. I know today is a hard day for all of you. Time doesn’t make it go away, but it may make it easier.
- “It is heaven or hell. It’s that simple.” — When has anything in life been simple?
- “…questioning his existence is another” — If “God” is an all powerful being and he knows our every move then he will know what is truly in our hearts. He will judge us for the people we are inside, not the people we portray to be on the outside.
- “…but it may make it easier.” — If I hear that phrase one more time I am going to rip someone’s tongue out. Time does not make it better, it never will. You are still without a loved one that was torn away from you way to young. I understand that people who have not had that experience may want to say that to make you feel better, but imagine yourself in that situation, would time make it better for you? THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!
See I used to be a very reserved person, not wanting to say what was on my mind in fear of hurting someone or causing a stir. Well on Jan. 23rd of 2006, that all changed for me, I now realize that life is too short to be what other people think you should be. I speak my mind and do not hold anything back. I will say again we are all individuals with independent free minds which we feel gives us the right to express our thoughts.
Best quoted by Toby Keith
Hate me if you want to love me if you can….
I would like to add that my “friend” did send an apology email and I was thankful for that. I did appreciate her concern, it was just the way she went about it that upset me.
Dru says:
Feb. 26, 2008
One of the main reasons that I left the Church was because I was getting preached to all the time. I believe there is a God and have never questioned that, I live my life though what I believe is the moral way. I believe I get rewarded for that, (how many men have been though 2 custody battles and won them both?)
I was sick of those people that lived the moral life on Sunday but the rest of the week was theirs. I am now a member of a Non-Denominational Church, it is great. People actually see my faith and although I may do something they do not agree with they understand that some of my beliefs are different.
On the other hand seeing my Best Friend lose her 7 year old son a year and a half ago I see the tormoil she goes though. I miss that kid like crazy and can’t play certain X-Box games anymore. I also notice that sometimes I get to preachy with my friend. It is hard because like your friend said, “While I do not know your pain & pray that I never will” and there are times I just want to find a way to get rid of her pain just for a few minutes.
anon123 says:
Feb. 26, 2008
New to your site, but had to comment
Your motto on your site-
“Every opinion counts, no feelings are wrong, we may not all agree, but we must all live in the same world together.”
Although this is a sensitive subject, you are the ones that said every opinion counts, no feelings are wrong, yet you condemn your ‘friend’ for his/her opinion. I don’t understand.
On another note, sorry to hear about your son. My thoughts are with you.
Chad & Stacey says:
Feb. 26, 2008
Thank you for your honesty Dru. We are sure your friend knows you have good intentions, as we know ours did. She is still entitled to her opinion and will continue to be our friend.
We read an article last Christmas about the “pain of words” to someone grieving. To sum it up, the article stated that the simplest words when people are trying to convey their sympathy can be painstaking to the people that are grieving. It is no ones fault, it is just human nature when trying to console someone you care about. We wish we would have kept the article because it gave some tips on what to do and not to do for a person that is grieving.
In the article it stated, “before speaking to a person that is grieving truly think hard and put your self in their position.” That is where the anger of “time will make it better or easier” and we have heard it a thousand times. We understand that people are just trying to make the grieving person feel better, but do you think time would make it easier if it were you?
We know it is hard to know what to say, but we have a feeling that just being there for your friend is good enough for her.
Chad & Stacey says:
Feb. 26, 2008
Anon123,
We do agree with our motto, but that does not mean that we agree with what was said. We did not condemn her for her opinion, we simply replied with what we thought. That is what this site is about. We were not trying to bash her, we were showing a difference in opinion from our point of view.
We are still friends, and I informed her that I would be posting this. Anger is an emotion that we all deal with, we try to deal with it here constructively. We have no ill feelings towards her as a person, we were simply stating a point.
anon123 says:
Feb. 26, 2008
Do you think I could find a copy of the article you mentioned on the web somewhere?
Chad & Stacey says:
Feb. 26, 2008
Sorry, I tried to look for it, but could not find it. The article was published in our local paper, we wanted our family and friends to read it, but at that point we were in a very heavy “denial” stage and did not want to talk about it. One of the hardest parts of dealing with grief is the range of emotions you feel on a minute to minute basis.